Just out of reach

No one ever gets what they want. But everyone wants what they can't have. The secret to life is just making do with what you've got until you die.

Take off that petticoat and dance for me...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

1) Your dry, leathery skin.
2) Your frozen botox smile.
3) The large gap between your giant, fake breasts.
4) The cute way you trip in your high heels when you're drunk.
5) The way you swear in public.
6) Your cigarette-flavored kisses.

We are leopard-skin-printed soulmates