OGRE, OGRE

I had a dream last night that I was a proud ogre warrior (See Artist's Conception) from a mythical region of ancient Mesopotamia. It was odd because everyone knows that ogres aren't from Mesopotamia- they traditionally hail from Western European areas. Anyways, in my dream I came from Ancient Mesopotamia. I lived near a small village called Udell.



Now of course in those days ogres weren't allowed in the villages. They kept to the woods and roamed in small circles of four or five. Occasionally you might find a rogue ogre, or "ROGRE" (as they were affectionately called) carrying about by himself. In my dream I was a Rogre. However, as the ploit thickened I was forced to join up with the townsfolk of Udell to battle the Evil Wizard Lionel who had cast a spell upon the entire region of Wilpot. Udell was the largest town in all of Wilpot. The Evil Wizard Lionel's spell turned all of the men of Wilpot into Stone so he could ravish the countryside un-challenged. What he did not realize was that his spells would never affect ogres...but even if he had, he would not have cared because any given ogre would not be bothered if some wizard went around ravishing townsfolk. An ogre only cares about himself and perhaps a few other ogres.

It just so happens that I was a unique ogre in that I had fallen in love with a village girl named Rue. Rue was a milkmaid of common blood and she lived with her family in Udell on the lower west side, near the butcher shop. I know this because sometimes at night I would sneak into town and steal meat. The butcher always left his stable unlocked and you could get into the shop through the stable. I met Rue the night of my first meat robbery. She threatened to scream and wake the town. I told her if she didn't I would give her a sack of appleblossoms that I had found in someone's wagon. She agreed and I knew then that we were destined to be together- ogre and wife. Unfortunately I learned later that she was to be married to Trudeau, the son of Lord Fontane.

Trudeau was an Asshole. He was a notorious bastard about the town. So you could imagine my delight when I first heard about the Evil Wizard Lionel's Spell. I thought to my self, "Ha, that gayrod Trudeau is a big, stone, fucker right now, isn't he?" But when Rue told me of the grief and horror that Lionel's spell had brought, I had to do something....for her...even if it meant Trudeau would come back to life and marry her and have sex with her and make me so jealous...OOOHHHH!!!!!