Thursday, August 19, 2010

Eat Your Hamburger Next to Me

I want you to eat your hamburger right next to me as I sit here on the airplane. I want to smell it. I want to smell the ketchups and the mustards and the sweet relish.

On an unrelated note- I think I might be developing scoliosis as a result of this Eastern European torture chair that gently cradles my spine in the delightfully painful shape of the capital letter "C". If you don't mind I would also like to ask you one question- are those Sweet Maui Onion chips making you thirsty? I could easily go to the commode and fill your water bottle with urine if you like. Just let me know...

Your friendly neighbor,

Passenger 57

Friday, June 25, 2010

Business Friday

Business: Follow me on Facebook.
Me: You go f yourself.