Bohemian Crapsody: June 2004

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

GOD DAMNIT MOTHER FUCKER. DIE! DIE! DIE! I am really angry right now for reasons I won't mention. There's a part of the movie "Amityville Horror" where star James Brolin is sitting there with his head in his hands and he suddenly begins ranting, saying "I'M COMING APART!!!!" I think of that scene often because I feel like I'm coming apart.

Nothing Beats the Hobo life...Stabbing folks with my hobo knife...

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

HAIRSTYLE OF THE WEEK

It's sweeping the Nation.

Derr

I feel much better now, thanks. I had a dream last night that
I was in someone's house and a group of 4 people- myself, two other dudes, and a girl were all watching TV. It was a shitty, old house and the TV was maybe a 25 incher. It was sitting atop a chest-high cabinet, which made viewing from the floor quite painful to my neck. For some reason, perhaps because it was cold, we were all in sleeping bags. I felt really dirty, like I hadn't showered in several days. I can't remember any more of the details, but I remember the girl told me that she thought my arms weren't very defined. I got upset and left.

Monday, June 28, 2004

MustaineFan's Weekly Advice:

Dear MustaineFan: I've been dating this guy for about four months now. We recently broke up due to some common problems. I have never cared about someone as much as I care for him. I don't see him everyday because we go to seperate schools. That makes it hard to keep a realationship going strong, but I was always trying. He's a really good football player, and after every, game girls would come up to him,and hug him, ect. I tryed my best not to get pissed. I don't know if he likes one of them know or what. So this weekend I went on a date, he found out and called that night. He got really jealous and ended up coming over after my date left. He says he loves me but theres so much he worries about. For instance, we're going to seperate colleges and there seven hours apart. I really need some advice. Do you think we still have a chance together?

Yours Truly,

Avid Reader

MustaineFan: Dear Avid Reader,

Ummm....No. Stop trying.

BAD DAY

You wake up and go to work. You have nothing to do so you sit in your cubicle surfing the internet. Everytime a new e-mail arrives you frantically open up outlook only to find a notice that thursday is Office Refrigerator Clean-out day. You try chatting online with other working friends yet they're all busier than you are. They don't respond immediately to your requests and you take that personally. 3 hours has gone by and you haven't actually talked with anyone. You sit there alone and are forced to think about your life.

Working out at lunch usually gives you release as you listen to music while physically squeezing some of the saved-up agression out of your body. But today your mp3 player decided to fuck up and not play properly so you were forced to listen to the grunts and panting of sweaty, old men and fat women trying to use the leg press machine.

Fuming with anger you walk, no, run back to the office in the rain and get in the elevator with 5 other people- who all happen to be going to various floors below yours. You're pissed for all of these things, yet you smile at the elderly secretary as you see her leaving the lunchroom. After you sit back down in your chair and log back onto your computer you see that no new e-mail and no new instant messages have accumulated in your absence. You want to go to sleep. You spend the next moments looking for suitable quotes to put on your website until your eyes begin to hurt. You go to the bathroom.

No one contacts you for the remainder of the day. You leave early and scowl at everyone you see on your way out. In the elevator you remove your belt and outer shirt and stuff them into your backpack. Walking home you feel insecure, like every passing car contains at least two people who are joking with each other at your expense.

You're angry at yourself.

LOVE TEST

I took an online love test. Here's the result:

"Your score is 53. Lust and love are easy to confuse. The biggest difference, love is kind, lust is intoxicating. Based on your answers it seems like you are more in lust than in love."

It seems even the internet is against me today...

I designed my kitchen the other day. What do you think?

IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?

Just another crappy day. The Hopi Indians have a saying... "He who drinks from the river will not be thirsty." It's very profound. I drank from the river once. The water was cold and had a deep taste like blood, probably because of a substantial iron content.

"Give to a pig when it grunts and a child when it cries , and you will have a fine pig and a bad child."
-Danish Proverb

WHOOOOOEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Saturday, June 26, 2004

DO YOU NEED ADVICE???

IF SO, send all of your questions and/or inquiries to mustainefan@hotmail.com. Remember, questions without photos will NOT be posted, and DO NOT use your real name!

Friday, June 25, 2004

RANDOM PICTURE

"Hey Baby...You Got a Nice Rack!"

RANDOM PICTURE

I Miss Yuuooo!!

MustaineFan's Weekly Advice:

Dear MustaineFan, i realy like this guy! it all started back in my senior year in high school, last year! we had three classes together and became good friends in school. we never talked or hung out, out side of school. After graduation he got a house down the shore for the summer. all summer long i would think about him. i tried to get a hold of him but that was imposible! When September rolled around i got a phone call from him. since that day we hang out almost every day! Finally about a month or two ago he kissed me. now he only shows effection like once a week. basically we are just friends but i want MOOOOOORE!!!!! how do i tell him this? i can just come out and say it because we are too good of friends nd i feel funny! what now?

Sincerely, Teenage Girl

MustaineFan: Dear Teenage Girl,

First of all, it's AFFECTION. Secondly, It's always been my OPINION that if you want MOOOOORE, you have to do MOOOOOORE. For instance, you might try calling his house a lot and hanging up. You could try collecting things of his and keeping them in a "Special" box in your closet. Oh, and most importantly, you should tell all of YOUR friends, and even some of HIS friends that you two are dating and that it's VERY serious. This is a surefire way to any man's heart!